Coping with Change


As the year grows old and Christmas looms, I find it impossible not to reflect upon how fast time flows. It seems that one minute, your babies are tiny and fragile, depending and relying upon you for every aspect of their existence. And then, suddenly, with force and surprise, you realise that the years have flown. It concerns me that if I feel this way now, and my girls are only 7 and 9, then how swiftly will it be their late teens, or their twenties, that I am facing?


As a mum, and as somebody who always wanted children (and was fortunate enough to have them), it will never cease to amaze me that my husband and I have ‘done the baby part’. How can that be? All those months of planning a pregnancy, imagining your tiny infant, and all those further months of adjustment and of planning, perhaps, a second addition to the family. Done and dusted.


The speed with which that stage of my life has flown is astounding. And is accompanied by a mournful, yet paradoxically joyful, farewell to all that was looked forward to. Joyful because I have my beautiful daughters and my little family, yet mournful because something that you take for granted, for many years of youth, has gone. I have done it. That part of my life has ceased.


But that is the key to life, isn’t it? In that we have to move with the changes and the challenges it brings. Life is always unexpected, always on the turn. For some of us, it really is that way from childhood onwards, and for others, their first experience of what life can really hit you with does not happen until they have reached adulthood.


Either way, we learn that we must adapt, and hard as that can be, it is basic human instinct – to evolve and survive. After all, it’s what we’ve been doing for millennia.


It is when we refuse to bend, and stick rigid in the sand, that we can find things even more difficult. Change is a huge adjustment for anyone, but making the most of that change, and turning the tumult on its head, can enable us to start all over again. It is a cliché but, as with most clichés, it is true, to say that life goes on. Time will continue marching and we change day by day. Bending and accepting and going with the flow, is, perhaps, the best way to be.

First published in The Portsmouth News, Tuesday 15th December 2015

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8 thoughts on “Coping with Change

  1. Serendipity indeed! Off to the home of the story this Xmas reflecting on wonderful past family Christmases but going with the flow of profound and inevitable change.

  2. That ever-changing aspect of parenthood has always been front and center in my consciousness. I’m thankful that I’ve truly been able to enjoy every single stage of our children’s growing and changing, even though there were plenty of extremely challenging times. I grieve for parents who dread the tween and teen years, then write off their tweens/teens as “difficult,” “moody,” or whatever negative adjective they choose to assign.

  3. Really struck a chord. I waited many years to become a mum and now my darling only child has grown and flown the nest (as far as Sussex Uni but far enough). I enjoyed every minute of bringing her up but am finding the change a challenge. I will endeavour to go with the flow.

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