Have a think about your family for a moment. Are you a happy family? Alternatively, are you a close family? What about your relatives outside of your marriage or relationship? Do you get on well and meet up regularly for family celebrations?
Family can be the bane of some people’s lives, or the pure of joy of other’s. We haven’t chosen who we’re related to by blood, and yet we are expected to get along. It can be a lot of pressure to live up to a Waltons’ style ideal because, in any situation, disagreements occur and need to be dealt with before they escalate.
However, if nobody holds their hands up and takes their portion of the blame, fractures can occur.
Which leads me to wonder, should we not make the effort to raise our children knowing when to hold their hands up? Each action we make or perform has consequences – if you behave poorly, then you have to pick up the metaphorical tab for that behavior. But if we’re raising our kids to bury their heads in the sand, then we are binding ourselves to live in a society where people are simply filled with their own virtue, and refuse to take responsibility for their actions.
I am sure that sometimes, for example, people take offence at things I have written. But if I’m writing about something that is morally questionable, then what is there to take offence at? Unless of course you’re reading yourself into it, and your conscience is picking up on it for you. In which case, the fault is yours, not mine, but how many of us are willing to admit it?
Self-awareness is such an important part of being human, yet so few of us have it. Partly, I suspect, because we don’t want to admit that we are fundamentally flawed. The old cliché that nobody is perfect is certainly true – but perhaps that depends on our definition of perfect.
I think the best we can do for our children and our families, is to be open and honest, to the extent that we can gently pick up on faults, but not take offence when our own come to light.
For the record, as no doubt my husband is reading this, yes, I am a control freak. I do like to think I’m right and my way is usually the best way. That’s not opinion darling, it’s fact. Heh heh heh.